Living Yoga with Asami

SBC Yoga Teacher Training Level 1 

I was in Bali for a month attending a teacher training with SBC Yoga. Looking back what I have learned during the training is shinning in my heart day by day. http://sbcyogateachertrainings.com/

That was my second teacher training to attend. I was there as a student, an assistant/student support. Of course I did struggle during the training physically and mentally but I can feel how much I grew since the training started. I can reflect how I differ from the beginning of the training until now. The amount of knowledge I have is incredible. 

The location was perfect. We were away from the civilization, lived close to the mountain, when we looked upon the night sky, we could see the thousands of starts. It was because we were away from the towns, we could really focus on ourself and our growth. Daily Asana practice and meditation/Pranayama practice was challenging. I got stronger day by day. I opened and connected with my body and my inner-self. 

There was tears during the practice. The most important things which brought up was my tendency to put pressure on myself and the inner-child. The expectation, as 1.5 years of experience teacher, I had myself was higher than I can imagine. It was so silly. I constantly judged myself how ‘badly’ I was teaching during the practicum.

Also the inner-child and childhood experience was the reflection of my adulthood without recognizing. I was angry, unbalanced and sad at the same time. Through the practice and learning about ‘self’, I was able to reviled the deepest fear that I had since the childhood. I cried and accepted ‘who I was/am’. It was incredibly challenging . 

The amazing teachers, Zoe, Chris and Phil, guided us during the training.  I cannot describe with words how much I appreciate their knowledge and their love. The amount of dedication and the passion they have towards Yoga and students was incredible. They were filled with love. I’m glad that I’ve met them. Their teaching will grow inside of me.

Some people think that teacher training is ‘just’ learning about ‘Asana’ and the bodies. However, SBC created the amazing atmosphere where we can grow as a person and a teacher. What I’ve learned was to accept where we are at our practice and life. I’ve learned to not to push myself but at the same time to constantly challenging myself physically and mentally. Also where we came from is very important to shape ‘who we are’ in this present moment. Even we experienced difficult situation in life, we are here to accept our past/current path. The month training reviles the deep emotions, and we were there to accept everything we face. 

I lost my confidence and little bit of my passion while I was teaching in Sydney. But as I looked back what I’ve experienced in a month was to polish my passion for Yoga and teaching. Now I am in Singapore teaching full-time at a studio. I am able to cater a class with individual needs and bodies. I gained my passion back and the confidence back from the training. How beautiful is that? 

At last, I would like to thank my teachers and fellow students for supporting me throughout the journey. Also I would like to thank my partner for continuous support. Finally I would like to send gratitude to my family in Sydney that they accept me as the way I am. Each of my loved ones trust me, more than I trust myself, that this path is the right path for me to walk. 

If you have love for Yoga and want to discover about ‘self’, SBC Yoga is the way to go. 

The philosophy: Strength, Courage and Belief is the key for the personal growth. It requires tremendous amount of courage and belief to become a strong person. However, they will help you to grow. It is rewarding and astonishing. 

YOGA JOURNEY

The moon is shining tonight. It feels like the moon is wishing me for my journey from tomorrow. I’m heading to Bali for a teacher training with SBC Yoga. I will be spending a month in Bali. 

There were several changes happened since the last time I uploaded my blog. My manager offered me to teach at their studio in Singapore. I will be moving to Singapore in mid May for just 3.5 months for a teaching position. Also I received Working Holiday Visa from Canadian government. I will be heading to Montreal Canada in September. I will be ‘on the road’ from tomorrow. Wow what an adventure. 

Today was my last day teaching at Hom Yoga Sydney (I’ll be back on May 12th for just 2 classes). I sent regards to all the beautiful students. My favourite students came to say bye and wished me luck. I’m so blessed to have this experience. 

I’ve been teaching for 1.5 years. I was craving for Yoga teaching experience last year. Since I started at Hom Yoga Sydney, my Yoga teaching path opened up. I didn’t think I would be in this position. The thing I wanted is right in front of me. I can’t believe it. 

However, I can’t help and wonder that full-time teaching is my ‘thing’. As I teach more and more, I hear myself repeating same thing. I often think ‘am I guiding a good class?’. I got frustrated when I taught sometimes. I wasn’t practicing Yoga in the moment. 

I’m confused. Because I love Yoga so much, I’m not sure teaching full-time is suitable for me. I love teaching but as I teach more… I get confused. I want to be authentic when I teach. I don’t want to be a robot Yoga teacher. 

Now is the time to learn. Now is the time to reconnect with inner-self to understand my path. Of course I’m young and there are any paths I can chose from. Yoga helps me everyday and I’d love to share the beauty of Yoga as many people possible. 

To be grounded, to be authentic, to be ‘new’ and to be the change I want to be, I will attend the teacher training to reconnect with my root of Yoga. I will learn to become a better Yoga teacher and a being. 

Thanks for everyone who wished for the best of luck. I will be back in Sydney on May 9th for just 6 days. See you then. 

My another Yoga journey starts…. TOMORROW! 

Beyond Our Mat.

“What is your motivation for continuous practice? Why do you come onto the mat? What is your intention? What do you want to get out of from your practice today?”

I often ask these questions to my students before the class. I let them focus on their intentions, rather than ‘just’ taking Asanas; therefore, our Yoga practice becomes more personal. 

I was feeling low in energy, as well the students, therefore, I let them move smoothly, mindfully with grace. It looked like an old Chinese man doing Tai Chi…. smooth and controlled motions, and remind them to keep connecting with their intentions. 

When we start to reconnect with our intentions during our practice, ‘something’ starts to happen. Our physical practice becomes more than physical. We connect with our body in emotional level. It reminds us the purpose of our practice, and we look into ourselves. 

One student came up to and said, she was able to stay in the class without overcoming with her emotion after a long period time of her great sorrow. She had separated with her partner after being together for 10 years. Whenever she stepped onto the mat, her emotion blasted. She couldn’t stay on the mat. Like the times, we pushed ourselves too hard in Asanas, and we feel uncomfortable pain (not discomfort) in our body. 

She was able to accept her emotion and let her heart to be softened, rather pushing her sadness away from her body. She was able to breath deeply to her heart to reconnect with herself. She was able to accept the fact she is deeply sad and heartbroken. 

The purpose of practice differs from each individual. I often focus on my core, since it is my weakest part of my body, but I more likely to set an intention for emotional fulfilment. We can say ‘OK’ and cry, and let our sadness or madness flow into our heart. It’s not a shameful emotion. It is realising and reconnecting with our true self. It is acceptance. 

That is the moment when Yoga happens beyond our sticky mat. And our practice becomes emotional and spiritual. 

Love and Connection

I was away from my blogging life for nearly 2 months. I’m kind of a person who needs to sit down in front of the computer and set my mind to write. I have a big reason that I couldn’t set my mind. First, I traveled to Bali. Second I was reconnecting with my partner. 

My partner was visiting me from Montreal Canada for 3.5 weeks. We’ve been in long distance relationship over 2.5 years. It had been a year since we last saw each other in Hawaii. It was our first Christmas and New Years spending time together in the same city. Such a joyful time!

But of course, my mind was busy ‘thinking’ until he arrived to the airport. I had full of doubts and worries towards our relationship. It was harder than I thought to remember the feeling of love and connection. And how special it is to have a relationship like this. 

The year of 2011 was full of achievement and success in my life. I graduated from University after studying 6.5 years of higher education. I was able to find passionate job as a Yoga Instructor. I got multiple job offers from different locations. I was traveling a lot. My life was smooth and happy. 

My ego kicked into my head after I came back from Bali. I thought I have endless possibility in my life. I started to feel unsure about the relationship. My work became more important than the love. What is love to me? Will I be able to move back to Montreal? Does it mean I have to give up my life here? 

I got on the train to meet my partner at the airport. I still had doubts in my heart when I traveled. However, when I saw him at the airport, I remembered the reason why I stayed in this relationship in the first place. The warm comfortable kind love was there… in my arm. 

The 3.5 weeks passed so quickly and I’m still adjusting to the life without him next to me. I cry at nights even though it has been already 10 days since he left. Some nights are harder than others. We talked a lot about our life. We shared moments together. It was beautiful. The memories continues to shine in my heart. 

As a Yoga Instructor, I talk and I interact with people everyday and every moment. I hear myself talk hours everyday. And my house is the only place where I feel that I am safe. I don’t need to put smile on. I can be ‘me’. My partner was the one who waited me at home and welcomed me with his warm heart. I often not talk in front of him. I just sit or lay next to him and start practicing Pramayama or Asana. 

He is my home. He is my heart. 

I noticed he is the one who supports my dream, my choices and my life. He is the one who is waiting me patiently because I am a busy Yogini who search for dreams. He is the one who is providing me the source and the courage towards the endless possibility. When I realised how special to have a person like him my life as a partner, it is like a miracle.

I can create and go beyond my endless possibility because I have support from him regardless of where we are. My heart softens when I’m around him. I have my true smile when he makes me laugh. The power of love is strong. It is the viechle for my growth.

I’ve decided to leave Sydney at the end of August or September this year. I want to challenge myself in my home city… our home in Montreal. I will be going back to him. If I seriously took work over our relationship, it is a shame. 

I can find possibility in work and in relationship wherever I go because I have him. I feel him as part of my heart who I can share every moment of life.

The incredible connection and love is still there and will be there. 

He is my home. He is my heart. 

SBC Yoga Teacher Training

I have a little news to share :) 

I started working for SBC Yoga from December 2011 as an administration and a student support. I am very happy to work for SBC Yoga since the director is my dear teacher Zoe Trenwith. She is my mentor and an amazing friend. THIS IS SO EXCITING! My profile is already uploaded on the website. Please have a look :) 

I’ve wanted to attend another Teacher Training for a long time after I finished the initial training. I searched for teachers who I can admire, respect fully and CONNECT as an individual. I could only think one person. I wanted to study with Zoe. 

I will be attending SBC Yoga Teacher Training in April. The location is in BALI! Yes, I am again heading to Bali! I’ve already booked my flights! 

People might think ‘I will be ‘away’ = ‘holiday”. But trust me, when I am on a Teacher Training, there is so much going on in my body and my mind. It is pure WORK and pure STUDY. Thank god… it is held in beautiful location Bali Mountain Retreat. I can immerse myself into the Yoga World. 

Who those of you thinking to take your practice deeper or maybe wishing to take a journey to become a Yoga Instructor, come join us. We have Chris Kummer and Phil Lemke on board. These teachers are internationally renowned. You will not regret attending the course. Zoe will be amazing as she is. She will guide you to reach the highest potential as a Yoga practitioner and a being. Her heart and her body is strong. And I will be there to make you smile as a student support :) 

Another Yoga journey begins in 2 months. I can’t wait! 

Injury and Yoga

Recently I encountered New York Times article which described Yoga causes injuries and it is not good for our body. I’m sure many of Yogis read the article and found very controversial to our experiences. 

I am stepping back from my regular practice for a month. I aggravated my injury slip disc on Boxing Day. I went for 10km walk with my family. I wasn’t conscious enough how high impact sports can do to my body. I enjoyed the walk; however, two days after, I was unable to walk, stand and sit for long hours. I am seeing my physiotherapist and chiropractor for weeks now. Due to my teaching schedule, my back ins’t improving much. 

I injured my back through my Yoga practice. I went into backbends and forward bends without properly engaging my core. When I went into Dhanurasana, I felt a little pinch into my lower back. I still remembered the unfamiliar feeling in my body that night. I had to go to see my GP to do a CT scan. My L4 and L5 disc was slipping from my vertebrae and touching my nerve. 

It is my fault that I got myself into this condition. I used to blame on the teacher who guided that night, but it is not. That was my attitude towards Yoga that I wanted to go into the deeper posture without knowing my limit. That was my ego who pushed me. It wasn’t a teacher. 

It is true that recent years, it is easy to receive 200 and 500 hours Teacher Training certificate. If you wish, you could become a Yoga instructor. Some Teacher Trainings offer extensive anatomy and physiology to understand bodies and Asana better than others. However, during the teacher training, it is impossible to consume all the knowledge in short period time. Teachers need extensive self-study to become a better teacher, and of course better practioner.

I was one of them. I didn’t know much about the body and how it functions. To tell you the truth, I learned so much after my injury. Now I know what I can do and what I cannot do. When I push myself too much, there is my L5 screaming to back off. I guide classes with my knowledge rather than the excitement of beautiful postures. My focus is core. I won’t stop talking about core. 

Partly it is instructors responsibility to take care of students and to guide a safe and enjoyable practice. However, it is individual responsibility as well. When we walk on the street and fall, we cannot blame to the person who build the road. It is our job to look after ourselves by listening to instructions. 

I will go back to my normal practice after I fully recover from my pain. Slip Disc isn’t the injury you can heal completely, but I know my body enough that I can go back to the practice once the inflammation goes down. 

It’s more about ‘how you practice’, rather than ‘who’ you practice or ‘what’ you practice. It’s our ego which pushes beyond our limit. 

Yoga can heal injury. And of course, Yoga can cause injury. 

Almost the end!

The Hot Journey (30 days challenge) is almost THE END! We only have one more day to go (I have 2 more classes to practice). I can’t believe it. 

My blogpost about my journey has stopped at week 2. There was a lot going on with me. I just finished 17 days of straight work, and I am indeed… sitting in front of my mac…… organising my thoughts to share :)  

My body got stronger during this past month; however, my heart got vulnerable. My heart got opened each day. I could cry in this moment thinking about love, relationship, family and friends. Around week 2, I was facing a little change in my life. One thing which is concrete in my life for many years, but it started to show some crack. The crack can be explained as ambitions, wants and curiosities. The mind moves before it consults the heart. It causes problems. 

The crack was shallow but I was vulnerable. I felt I could lose something important because of my ambition. I cried, I wondered, I thought and I talked. Answer was already there but ambition won. Silly me.

When I stucked in the situation, friends/teachers at Hom (and my dearest friends A and S, you know who you are!) helped me through. The mat became my sacred space. I can be myself on the mat without any lies or guilt. I was safe and protected. 

I got stronger in November because of everyday core workout (I’m talking to you Shona and Jane!). Now I can do stable arm balancing and inversions! Powerful yet sweet guidance from Vicky, Erica’s bubbly teaching style, Cristina’s Utkatasana! BIG SMILE, and Maria’s sweet caring personality helped me to go through each day. And of course, lovely students, you gave me inspirations and reasons to practice. 

Yet I realise, I am not a strong woman. I am vulnerable. But Yoga allows me to feel what I need to feel that day. It was physically challenging for me to practice in the heated room. It doesn’t mean it’s easy because I am an instructor. You can see me, ordinary me, student me, in that room. I struggled the days I had too much drinks, the days I lacked some sleep or not resting enough because of work. 

It’s almost the end of the journey but it doesn’t feel like the end. It feels like the beginning of another journey. I still haven’t thought about the solution to fix my crack. But I know how to clear my mind or look into myself rather than focusing on external stimulants.

At the beginning of the journey, I said ‘a challenge is a chance to change’. I am not sure I changed through out this journey. Maybe I can’t see it physically or I am blind about myself. But ‘something’ different had happened this month and I haven’t had that feelings for many years. It was a change and awakening for me. I was cultivating positive energy each day through the practice. I was practicing ‘satya-honestly’ each day. 

Yoga journey never ever ends until we die. One ending is just another beginning. 

Thanks for Homies and students to share the space and the opportunity to practice and teach.

What a nice way to end the year…. don’t you think?

Keep practicing. Keep shining. 

Namaste- ‘The light within me bows to the light within you’. 

Asami  

Yoga = Healing

I got an job offer from a chiropractic clinic in early September. And the studio just opened a week ago. I am teaching 2 classes per week from 7:30am in the morning. The classes are only for patients, and most of them have/had injuries. They have little or no experience in Yoga. This is another opportunity for me to share Yoga with people. 

When I found out that I have a disc injury a year ago, I couldn’t practice for a month due to reduce the inflammation. I was still teaching 2 classes per week but I couldn’t do much demonstration. I came from a strong Power Vinyasa background. I struggled the fact I couldn’t practice. 

The only thing I could do was symmetrical postures and core works. Rather than doing a strong practice, the time being on the mat became really special to me. I did meditation practice often and listened to my body. It made me happy to be on the mat even though the practice wasn’t physical. 

When I practice with patients with injuries, these memories/experiences came back to my heart. It is so different from teaching ‘physically’ oriented Asana. It is healing. They come to the clinic to heal their body. I touched the back of their heart, which is in between the shoulder blade, so many of them had tight rhomboid. Probably it is their first time to consciously breath fully by using their diaphragm.

We often forget how special to be connected with our body or our breath when the practice started to progress and it becomes ‘ordinary’. I see in patients/students’ face that they are enjoying every single bit of their breath and the movements. They are talking to their body, connecting with the muscles, and releasing the muscle tension and heart tension. Their face softens after the class. It makes me happy to see the progress so soon even though I know them for just a week. 

In the mainstream media and the society, Yoga is advertised as beauty oriented self-management. But it is healing. I can see it with my eyes and I can feel it. 

It makes me grateful to be in this position to share Yoga with everyone. Yoga is healing. And I was healed by Yoga. 

Hot Journey W2: Full-moon 11/11/11

Here we are, almost at the end of week 2 of Hot Journey. 

Well… I don’t know where to start. There are so many things I want to share with students and readers. I hope I can write my thought clearly. 

My week started from a little bit of hang over (yes, I am a Yogini and I enjoy occasional drinks and GOOD FOOD QUALITY FOOD). I had a beautiful weekend with my favourite girls. But the body was so honest the next day. My body said the amount of what I put into my body wasn’t a pleasurable. It made sense. My body was weak and heavy. 

When my body is out of alignment or out of harmony, I started to lose the motivation to step on to the mat. I often think being ‘lazy’ can be the most appropriate option then Yoga. But because of the supportive environment, teachers, and students, I do go back to practice and recognise the reason I continue to practice. 

This week was the special week because of 11/11/11; also the full moon was on the 11/11/11. Oh it was so powerful. The number ‘1’ is a powerful number. It represents change, revolution, and the relationship between the moon and the sun. The full-moon represents the release of emotions. Also our ego starts to take over our kindness. We tend to create obsession towards materials and beings. We want to possess something or someone around the time of full-moon. (Don’t you have an experience that you go shopping on a full-moon day and you buy unnecessary thing?)

My emotion started to rise up to the surface. I felt anger, sadness, loneliness and worries in my heart. I struggled during my Asana practice, half-peigions. I struggled to accept myself. I started to want ‘more’ in my life. I started to cry with a tiny issue. It all makes sense because it’s the full moon and my body/heart is opening up with intense practice. I am here to release it, don’t I?

This week, I learned to inquire my emotions. But I started to specify the reasons and to ‘fix’ the emotions. When we start to categorise, we started to blame others which it doesn’t serve ourselves and others. It just causes more issues. At the end of the day, after I put blame onto someone I am close to, I regretted and I cried. It is so easy to take it for granted to push my emotions towards someone else. It is so easy not to recognise as the process of detox. It is so easy to forget the preciousness of this journey and help of others. 

Also what I learned this week is the importance of the community building. I see some students everyday because I am at the studio everyday to practice. And I see students talking about their journey and practice with each other to support each other. As I said I was lacking some motivation this week; therefore, I asked some students why they decided to take this challenge. They said to ‘face a challenge’, ‘to deal with everyday stress’ and ‘to be part of a community’. It inspired me to practice in this environment to share this journey as a student and with students. I know Yoga is an individual practice but it does cater collective energy through group practice. And with these beautiful motivations, we can create better practice for each other to support. 

At last, I want to finish with William Shakespeare’s quote. When I was desperate for connections and attentions, my friend posted this on Facebook.

“Expectation is the root of all heartache” 

Let’s drop all the expectations for others, self and this journey. Everything will fall into places naturally. I’m sure I will be/you will be feeling wonderful as an individual and a group at the end of the month. 

xx

See you on the mat! 

Asami 

’ A Challenge is Chance to Change’

I am participating in 30 days challenge ‘Hot Journey’ at Hom Yoga Sydney. I decided to take this challenge to come back to the regular practice and tune into my body. The challenge started from November 1st. We are almost there to finish our first week of the challenge. 

I came back on to the mat on Monday (31st) after not practicing for a week. I simply wanted to sweat and practice. For past months, I couldn’t practice regularly due to my school schedule. I noticed my body has changed so much since I stopped practicing. My left leg was so weak. I struggled with left side Utthita Hasta Padangusthasana. 

After I finished the practice, I spoked to one of my friend, also the teacher, about my leg. She told me the left side is related to our emotions and the right side is related to our rational thoughts. I thought about what was happening to my emotion; however, nothing came up as an answer. 

When I practice, step on the mat, and breath everyday to reconnect with ‘true-self’, I start to talk to my body. Somedays my body is stiff, and somedays my body is energised. I did a double classes yesterday because I was so happy and light in my body. I took as a privilege to practice more. 

Last night’s Vinyasa flow was hip focus. Here I come. The emotions came out from my body with sweat. As the practice goes one, I understood my emotions and fear. Over months, I struggled with school. I put so much pressure onto myself to complete every task I was given. I enjoyed my work so much. I often lacked commitment to school. Also I buried my worries and sadness about my relationship deep inside of my heart. 

A beautiful news traveled from my partner and it caused an energetic difference into my body. I was so happy and light like a bright spirit. During the practice, those unwanted sadness and worries came out from my heart with the hip-opening sequence. I was there to cry and let it go. I was ready to move on. 

The first week of my challenge helped me to face the negative feeling which I buried inside of me. And it allows me to notice my body and my mind. I modified some postures because I can’t physically do it since my body is in pain today. I lack motivation time to time but I remember the reason of my practice when I step onto the mat. 

I love yoga. 

One of my friend is doing 30 days challenge in Montreal Canada with Moksha Yoga NDG. And she said to me ‘a challenge is a chance to change’. I believe it is a tool for transformation. 

I practice to transform my body and my mind. 

I practice to love myself even more to understand myself better.